Want more of the Tribeca Friends & Family Golden Globes Chat?
Here is the unabridged version. Enjoy!

(For the prettified highlights, go here instead.)

6:35:47 CrackMC: Hey!
7:07:54 UncleJesse: I'm watching E! Red Carpet now
7:08:37 CrackMC: I am so happy there is an HD E! channel now!

Drew Barrymore

7:08:03 DoubleknitDynomite: What's up with Drew Barrymore's hair?
7:08:06 UncleJesse: Drew Barrymore's hair appears to be allergic to itself
7:13:03 UncleJesse: Apparently it's 85 degrees there
7:13:07 UncleJesse: That may account for Drew's hair
7:13:05 Crystal: The birds' nest hair seems to be a theme
7:17:52 Crystal: Why are Drew Barrymore and Jessica Lange holding hands?
7:20:12 Crystal: Ohh them in Grey Gardens will be amazing
7:44:40 UncleJesse: They are holding hands in the name of film promotion
7:45:13 Crystal: It was a Jessica/Drew mother daughter moment
7:31:05 CrackMC: Drew really did just get out of bed
8:53:51 CrackMC: Drew and Jess are holding hands again
8:53:53 Bella2: Jessica and Drew look the same age
8:54:03 FreshP: they clearly had the same hairstylist
8:54:05 Crystal: Drew's eye shadow is not working
8:54:07 DoubleknitDynomite: They're going to start making out.

Dwight from The Office

7:13:42 Crystal: Dwight (Rainn Wilson) looks good in a silver tie.
7:13:47 UncleJesse: Are those transitions lenses though?
7:14:04 Crystal: I think so, but if they are prescrips you can hardly blame him
7:14:22 UncleJesse: True—one cannot be squinting on the carpet

Maggie Gyllenhaal

7:16:27 DoubleknitDynomite: It looks like Maggie Gyllenhaal is standing on a ladder. Seacrest is tiny
7:27:30 UncleJesse: Oh good—Maggie Gyllenhaal is just as Amazon w/Brooke Burke too
7:27:54 UncleJesse: This poor girl is going to have to talk about Heath Ledger all night long
7:28:05 CrackMC: Are her earrings spoons? Or pinecones?’
9:33:35 UncleJesse: Sit DOWN, Maggie G.—you're blocking everyone
10:13:16 UncleJesse: Wow—is Emma Thompson taller than Maggie Gyllenhaal??
10:13:23 MrsGrieves: Like a tree
10:13:25 AaronOOF: No. Dustin Hoffman is just very small

Jeremy Piven

7:18:33 CrackMC: The PIV!
7:18:44 Crystal: Jeremy Piven, back from his Broadway near-death experience
7:19:01 AaronOOF: Piven is safe from his mercury poison?
7:19:21 DoubleknitDynomite: Thank God
7:31:36 CrackMC: The Piv looks recovered!
7:31:44 CrackMC: It's a Golden Globes miracle!
7:31:47 AaronOOF: I hope he didn’t have sushi for dinner tonight
7:32:16 Crystal: He'll never eat tuna and mac-n-cheese again
7:32:21 DoubleknitDynomite: How many times does Piv have to say "humble"?

Hayden Panettiere

7:21:23 UncleJesse: Rumor has it Hayden Panettiere is trying to get out of her Heroes contract
7:21:49 AaronOOF: Heroes will probably wind up canceled before that's necessary
7:21:41 DoubleknitDynomite: Is there a 4th “Bring it On”?

NBC Red Carpet Coverage

7:27:00 Crystal: And is that Tiki Barber working the carpet at the Globes?
7:31:33 Crystal: I bet all the actors are excited to meet Tiki...
7:27:16 CrackMC: I have a girlcrush on that Brooke Burke too. Loved her on that Rock Star show.
7:29:07 UncleJesse: Holy Greek goddess! Look at Nancy O'Dell!
7:34:18 DoubleknitDynomite: I thought that was Leeza Gibbons

Rumer Willis

7:34:28 Crystal: How do we feel about Rumer being Miss Golden Globes? And walking the carpet?
7:34:38 UncleJesse: I feel confused
7:34:46 UncleJesse: I thought you had to be not famous to do that
7:34:50 UncleJesse: She's sort of in movies, no?
7:34:56 AaronOOF: Rumer is too famous for that gig
7:35:00 Crystal: I thought you had to be un-famous too
7:35:09 AaronOOF: I thought the Miss GG was supposed to be a fresh face, not yet working
7:35:11 UncleJesse: Agreed—but she's channeling Pat Field with that Kool-aid hair
7:35:19 DoubleknitDynomite: Papa Ashton might be punking her
7:36:29 CrackMC: E! had her name spelled wrong
8:05:06 DoubleknitDynomite: Does Rumer get to talk?
8:05:16 Bella2: No, she just hands awards over
8:05:19 DoubleknitDynomite: Just stand and look pretty?
8:10:49 DoubleknitDynomite: Rumer is really showing some range
8:14:48 Bella2: This is where we meet Rumer
8:14:55 DoubleknitDynomite: Rumer gets to nod!
8:14:58 AaronOOF: Why not also say "stepdaughter of Ashton Kutcher"
8:15:07 DoubleknitDynomite: Ashton is ready to reveal the punk
8:15:10 Chafe: Demi looks younger than Rumer
8:15:10 Smurfette: Creepy Ashton gave her an air kiss, just weird
8:35:12 DoubleknitDynomite: I'm checking Rumer's credits to see what uniquely qualifies for her role in tonight's show.
8:35:26 AaronOOF: What do you mean? If anything, she has too many credits
8:35:47 UncleJesse: I think there's a height requirement too
8:35:49 DoubleknitDynomite: Maybe her one-episode stint on CSI as "Mackendra Taylor"?
8:35:53 AaronOOF: The only qualification is 2nd generation actress who looks good in a dress
8:36:04 DoubleknitDynomite: Because I don't think "Smoking Girl" in Whore alone would have done it
8:36:15 AaronOOF: Rumer was in a movie the Tribeca Film Festival showed this past year
8:36:23 DoubleknitDynomite: Oh wait—got it. It was "Girl running between Jimmy and Oz" from The Whole Nine Yards
8:36:50 UncleJesse: I THOUGHT she looked familiar...
8:36:45 AaronOOF: I always thought it was supposed to be an unfamous daughter of a famous person

In Bruges

7:38:01 UncleJesse: I'm going to say it—I enjoyed In Bruges. I was drunkish and trying to impress a guy when I saw it—but I do believe I actually liked it
7:38:13 CrackMC: LOVED! Colin and Brendan are my favorite onscreen couple of the year
7:39:05 AaronOOF: I'm confused... Were you trying to impress a guy by pretending to like it? Or were you trying to impress the guy by being drunkish?
7:39:20 UncleJesse: Little of both...
9:18:55 AaronOOF: I still actually need to see In Bruges, sober, and not on a date with UncleJesse's boyfriend

Will Arnett

7:39:25 DoubleknitDynomite: Will Arnett is a giant
7:39:35 UncleJesse: But is he more giant than Maggie Gyllenhaal...?
7:40:41 DoubleknitDynomite: He has the same forehead as Hayden Panettiere!

Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio

7:41:04 UncleJesse: THE MOMENT HAS ARRIVED. Leo and Kate—together again
7:41:11 Crystal: The “together again” story is a bit played out
7:41:34 CrackMC: I really wish he would say, "I’m King of the World!"

Robert Downey, Jr.

7:47:08 CrackMC: I love him so much it hurts (RDJ).
7:47:23 AaronOOF: I interviewed RDJ once. For SOAPDISH. (Yes, I'm that old)
7:47:54 AaronOOF: That was a crazy press junket. He kept getting up and running all over the room
7:48:03 CrackMC: How old ARE you?
7:48:12 AaronOOF: Almost as old as you
7:48:13 CrackMC: Teri Hatcher was a mere child. So was I.
7:48:32 AaronOOF: Me too... I was in college
7:47:39 DoubleknitDynomite: I loved Soapdish!
7:47:28 DoubleknitDynomite: He should go to jail every year—he came out with a kicking bod
7:48:03 CrackMC: He didn't go to jail this year, did he? He did Iron Man instead

Marisa Tomei

7:48:40 CrackMC: I interviewed Marisa Tomei recently
7:48:45 UncleJesse: Marisa Tomei is channeling Sharon Stone in the white button down...
7:48:50 AaronOOF: Did you ask her how her breasts are SO FREAKING PERFECT?
7:48:57 CrackMC: She has an amazing body
7:48:58 AaronOOF: And she's 43!!!
7:49:43 AaronOOF: Between THE WRESTLER and BEFORE THE DEVIL KNOWS YOU'RE DEAD, we've all seen plenty of her chest recently, and it's kind of amazing for a 43-year-old woman. Good on her
7:49:53 CrackMC: She also said there was no job on the horizon for her, but that was before the noms for GGs though

Renee Zellwegger

7:52:07 Bella2: Did you guys see Renée Zellweger’s dress
8:18:11 DoubleknitDynomite: Renée Zellweger looks a FRIGHT!
8:18:27 Crystal: Zell has seen better days. Not many, but...
9:28:43 Man with Powers: Oh my God, Renée’s on a bender!
9:28:55 Crystal: DISASTER!
9:29:08 Smurfette: Kate Winslet wants to cry about Renée’s dress
9:29:13 AaronOOF: She apparently wanted to be a mermaid
9:29:13 DoubleknitDynomite: Like she's got a switchblade and a pack of jolly ranchers in her pocket
9:29:30 DoubleknitDynomite: It's like a John Waters movie
9:29:37 MrsGrieves: She looks like a fish standing up
9:29:47 AaronOOF: Do you think that dress is shaped that way to keep her from tipping over?
9:29:50 UncleJesse: Very very Nightmare Before Christmas

JLo presents the first award of the night

8:02:04 Bella2: She just said, “Momma's talking”
8:02:10 Crystal: She sure did

Kate Winslet wins Best Supporting Actress

8:03:08 AaronOOF: That means that she definitely won't win Best Actress
8:03:26 AaronOOF: Because it's all the same voters in all the same categories
8:03:33 CrackMC: I thought she was amazing
8:03:37 AaronOOF: Which also means that it is more likely that Anne Hathaway is a shoo-in for Best Actress
8:03:45 UncleJesse: The Reader was spectacular
8:03:46 CrackMC: Hathaway is a shoo-in
8:03:56 CrackMC: Kate Winslet is gorgeous
8:03:59 UncleJesse: Yes to Hathaway—there is a science to these things
8:04:00 AaronOOF: “So excuse me while I pull out this speech I wrote for when I wouldn’t win…”
8:04:02 Bella2: Kate is nervous
8:04:25 DoubleknitDynomite: The camera can't keep up with her magnanimous thanks
8:04:40 AaronOOF: I am jealous of Sam Mendes. I'll admit it
8:05:20 Crystal: JLo and Rumer both seem to be shrugging about this
8:05:23 AaronOOF: Rumer looks better than J Lo though
8:06:13 DoubleknitDynomite: I wonder if we can all call Kate “Mummy”
8:06:17 CrackMC: Do Rumer and Kate have similar kinds of bridesmaid dresses on?

Best Original Song

8:06:21 Smurfette: I love the Sting beard
8:06:25 Man with Powers: Yeah, beards are in
8:06:28 Smurfette: So Caveman!
8:06:35 UncleJesse: Sting looks like the Wolfman
8:06:46 Bella2: Werewolves are in this year
8:06:56 DoubleknitDynomite: I love Peter Gabriel, but I can't help thinking he wrote all of his songs 15 years ago
8:07:01 Man with Powers: Even Peter Gabriel has a little beard
8:07:06 AaronOOF: Peter Gabriel still looks like he's about to lead a devil worship cult
8:07:12 CrackMC: Clint Eastwood singing is so great! But that's not him. Weird
8:07:29 UncleJesse: I'm sorry—that's CLINT singing??
8:07:40 FreshP: No, that's someone else singing Clint's song.
8:07:35 Bella2: As long as Miley Cyrus does not win I will be happy
8:07:42 AaronOOF: It's going to be Bruce Springsteen for "The Wrestler" ... I'm just saying...
8:07:48 Smurfette: Bruce, Bruce, Bruce
8:07:58 UncleJesse: I am eager to see if Miley’s parents escort her to the stage if she wins...
8:08:07 DoubleknitDynomite: Not Beyonce—she didn't come to the carpet. Won't win.
8:08:10 CrackMC: Beyonce vs. Bruce
8:08:16 Chafe: Nice jewels on Beyonce
8:08:36 Chafe: I want to see The Wrestler—go Bruce!
8:08:39 Smurfette: Bruce is a major hottie!
8:08:44 DoubleknitDynomite: Hmmm. Maybe Bruce. I'll say Miley if record sales count though
8:08:58 AaronOOF: Record sales do not count with the Hollywood Foreign Press
8:09:04 Man with Powers: Bruce and Billy Ray both have soul patches. What's the deal?
8:09:14 CrackMC: Oh, Mickey, you're so fine
8:09:17 Bella2: Is it me or has Bruce gotten sexier as he has gotten older?
8:09:19 Man with Powers: (ps, I will just be commenting on facial hair)
8:09:22 FreshP: Bruce is bronzed
8:09:22 DoubleknitDynomite: Mickey looks like he's in disguise
8:09:47 Man with Powers: He IS in disguise
8:09:38 Smurfette: Bruce is super sexy
8:09:47 FreshP: Good hair
8:09:49 UncleJesse: Do you know Bruce gave The Wrestler this song for free? Allegedly...
8:10:00 Crystal: He did give it for free
8:10:08 Bella2: Mickey and Bruce are friends
8:10:17 Crystal: Apparently they are brothers
8:10:18 DoubleknitDynomite: That's a really odd mustache
8:10:23 Man with Powers: Or creepy

Facial Hair

8:10:52 SnowPants: I like facial hair, but everyone is trying to have some tonight
8:11:11 UncleJesse: Perhaps there's some link between facial hair and recession....anyone??
8:11:24 FreshP: Too expensive to buy new razors?
8:11:29 Bella2: Men can't afford to shave
8:11:30 SnowPants: Anti-recession-hairline?
8:11:33 CrackMC: Facial hair is free!
8:11:40 UncleJesse: All excellent options—thank you
8:14:42 DoubleknitDynomite: Good hair on Simon Baker—not facial, though
8:26:46 UncleJesse: Brad Pitt: facial hair
8:26:50 UncleJesse: We need a tally

Best Supporting Actor: TV

8:15:23 DoubleknitDynomite: Doogie!
8:15:24 AaronOOF: BARNEY!
8:15:25 Chafe: LOVE
8:15:30 Crystal: Neil Patrick Harris has to win
8:15:31 Bella2: Go, Doogie
8:15:45 AaronOOF: Piven better not win
8:15:47 FreshP: Look, it's the human thermometer!
8:15:47 CrackMC: I do love Tommy Gavin (Denis Leary) too
8:16:07 Man with Powers: Tom Wilkinson was pretty good slash hilarious
8:16:13 AaronOOF: Doogie should totally win
8:16:14 AaronOOF: But wont
8:16:34 Bella2: Doogie's boyfriend is cute
8:16:20 Crystal: NPH NPH

Tom Wilkinson wins Best Supporting Actor: TV

8:16:23 DoubleknitDynomite: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
8:16:34 AaronOOF: Tom Wilkinson was very good as Ben Franklin
8:16:42 AaronOOF: And John Adams will win everything it's up for
8:16:46 DoubleknitDynomite: Alec Baldwin is going to move to Canada over this one
8:16:48 Crystal: Ew... That woman just asked Tina Fey to borrow her lip-gloss
8:16:51 UncleJesse: Also, Alec Baldwin is wearing blush—no doubt about it
8:17:07 Bella2: Brits 2, Yanks 0
8:17:21 UncleJesse: Good point—can someone please keep a country tally
8:17:42 Man with Powers: Dude, sweet burns on Paul Giamatti

Laura Dern wins Best Supporting Actress in series or TV movie

8:19:31 UncleJesse: Is that a scrunchie in her hair??
8:19:34 FreshP: Laura Dern won for doing an impersonation. It was good, but it was an impersonation
8:19:35 Man with Powers: She was Miss Golden Globe, once upon a time??
8:19:57 UncleJesse: Thoughts on the dress?
8:20:10 CrackMC: She looks like she is being shown in black and white
8:20:13 Crystal: A little tiny bit old-fashioned on the dress
8:20:14 FreshP: I have curtains that look like that dress but in white
8:20:30 Smurfette: It works on her, but yes, she could use color
8:20:32 CrackMC: Hair is okay, but she needs red lipstick
8:20:53 Smurfette: I take that back
8:20:47 Smurfette: Sorry, didn't see the bottom of that dress
8:21:05 Smurfette: The top of it looks okay, the bottom is tragic
8:20:55 SnowPants: She has shirt-penises from her hanger
8:21:22 Chafe: I’m not sure what a shirt penis is
8:21:42 SnowPants: When you get a little bump in your shirt from your hanger
8:21:47 FreshP: You know, shirt penis? when your shirt sticks out from the hanger
8:21:40 DoubleknitDynomite: I always called them hanger wings, but shirt penis is much better
8:21:52 CrackMC: I never heard that!
8:21:59 Chafe: OMG That's brilliant
8:22:02 AaronOOF: It has entered my permanent lexicon

Interlude

8:22:11 CrackMC: This is exhausting

Don Cheadle

8:25:37 UncleJesse: Ooooh Don Cheadle
8:25:42 AaronOOF: What are in Don's ears?
8:25:44 CrackMC: Don Cheadle is in Hotel for Dogs?
8:25:53 UncleJesse: BA-LING
8:25:54 Bella2: Diamonds, darling
8:26:01 Crystal: Is his tie patent leather?
8:26:16 UncleJesse: Yes, his tie is patent leather
8:26:34 Man with Powers: Don Cheadle in Fargo would have been kind of awesome

Anna Paquin wins Best Actress: Drama for True Blood

8:31:44 Chafe: YAYAYAY
8:31:46 SnowPants: Vampires!
8:31:53 AaronOOF: It's cause she did nude scenes
8:32:09 SnowPants: I watched that series in one day
8:32:18 UncleJesse: She is an Oscar winner
8:32:23 UncleJesse: Like Jennifer Hudson
8:32:21 DoubleknitDynomite: I draw the line at Paquin. Not a fan
8:32:24 AaronOOF: I would have given it to January Jones, even though Anna is great in TRUE BLOOD
8:32:39 UncleJesse: She's so Lauren Hutton with the gap
8:32:54 SnowPants: I like teeth with gaps
8:33:14 DoubleknitDynomite: Probably gives her more room for the fake fangs
8:32:56 CrackMC: Where has her Down Under accent gone?

Ricky Gervais

8:36:59 UncleJesse: Now Ricky Gervais will insult America and it will be the best part of the show
8:37:11 Man with Powers: He's got a beer in his hand!
8:37:15 AaronOOF: I love that he's drinking on stage
8:37:17 UncleJesse: He's down a few lbs...
8:37:18 FreshP: He didn't have his fangs removed
8:37:29 UncleJesse: (Note: facial hair)
8:37:32 Crystal: Fantastic that he's got his drink
8:37:53 Bella2: I freaking love him
8:38:03 CrackMC: He's a cheeky Brit
8:38:27 UncleJesse: I'm only rooting for facial hair at this point
8:38:45 AaronOOF: Seriously ... it's the year of the goatee, isn't it?
8:38:59 Man with Powers: It's the year of facial hair in general

The Jonas Brothers

8:39:22 Smurfette: Oh God, who invited them?
8:39:54 AaronOOF: The one all the way to the left needs some eyebrow threading or something
8:41:19 Bella2: Isn't it past their bedtime?
8:41:25 Man with Powers: There's a little too much velour up there right now
8:41:41 Crystal: It's a stage full of plush

Glenn Close

8:42:39 FreshP: Glenn Close looked like one of those Hirschfeld versions of her
8:42:58 Crystal: Was she wearing my grandmother’s drapes?
9:26:19 UncleJesse: Glenn Close must be sweating her balls off in that long-sleeved, full sequin dress
9:33:51 UncleJesse: Actually, it’s a pantsuit. First pantsuit of the night!!!
9:33:50 AaronOOF: I'm sorry, but Glenn Close kinda looks like Grandma

Johnny Depp

8:42:39 Smurfette: Johnny Depp can wear any facial hair he wants
8:42:43 Chafe: OMG He's turned into Brando
8:42:40 DoubleknitDynomite: Yuck
8:42:49 Bella2: I love him

Sally Hawkins win Best Actress in a Movie: Comedy or Musical

8:43:38 CrackMC: YAY!
8:43:47 Bella2: Brits 3
8:44:21 DoubleknitDynomite: Way to stick the winner in the back of the room. 20 minutes later she's on stage
8:44:47 Smurfette: I think the dress held her up
8:45:05 Chafe: Also, she should eat something
8:45:10 CrackMC: She’s crying and breathless
8:45:49 Crystal: Was she this character in the movie
8:45:56 CrackMC: No, she was happier
8:46:58 DoubleknitDynomite: Give her a second to catch her breath after walking that mile to the stage
8:47:19 Bella2: She never thought she was going to win
8:47:32 AaronOOF: She definitely didn’t think so
8:47:39 AaronOOF: But she'll get an Oscar nod too
8:51:06 Man with Powers: Don't get me started
8:43:16 DoubleknitDynomite: Meryl Streep can't stop stalking me

Jake Gyllenhaal

8:51:55 Man with Powers: Another beard
8:52:24 Smurfette: Metro-beard
8:53:12 DoubleknitDynomite: He has Muppet eyebrows though
8:53:28 AaronOOF: That Jonas Brother had Muppet Eyebrows

John Adams wins Best Miniseries or TV Movie.

8:55:34 DoubleknitDynomite: I'm sick of period pieces. Can we have more mini-series that don't need undercoats?
8:55:41 FreshP: Was John Adams gay? He looked like he was playing a gay John Adams
8:55:41 AaronOOF: Giamatti has got to get rid of his weird muttonchops
8:55:48 Bella2: I love petticoats

Demi Moore

8:57:39 DoubleknitDynomite: Did Demi have more work done? She looks amazing
8:57:45 Smurfette: She corrected her daughter, love it
8:57:46 Crystal: Demi looks younger then Rumer
8:57:59 FreshP: Whatever she's having (Ashton) I want some too
8:58:04 DoubleknitDynomite: I bet she had Rumer just to have on hand as an organ farm
8:58:33 Smurfette: Yes, can I have some Ashton too
8:58:28 AaronOOF: She does look amazing
8:58:34 AaronOOF: Ashton will soon look older than her

Heath Ledger wins Best Supporting Actor

8:58:51 FreshP: Of course—he had to
8:59:00 AaronOOF: Look at how serious everyone is while clapping
8:59:05 DoubleknitDynomite: I wonder if Maggie Gyllenhaal will accept for Heath
8:59:11 FreshP: No, Chris Nolan
8:59:48 CrackMC: Poor Robert Downey, Jr., up against Heath
8:59:51 FreshP: I forgot about wanting to give Christian Bale a cough drop throughout that entire film
9:00:25 AaronOOF: Wow. I mean, Heath was amazing, and it was sad, but "A hole ripped in the future of cinema"?
9:00:28 Crystal: Such an awful speech to have to make
9:00:34 CrackMC: Ennis

Tom Brokaw talking about Frost/Nixon

9:05:19 AaronOOF: WOW! Tom Brokaw S-L-U-M-M-I-N-G!
9:06:01 AaronOOF: “I covered Watergate, and I wondered, Will Opie/Richie Cunningham dramatize this one day?”
9:06:47 UncleJesse: I can't look at Michael Sheen w/o thinking Tony Blair...

Laura Linney wins Best Actress in TV Miniseries or Movie

9:10:37 AaronOOF: Laura Linney was actually one of the best things about John Adams
9:10:41 AaronOOF: She was kind of amazing
9:10:51 DoubleknitDynomite: I love Laura Linney. Now and always
9:10:53 Crystal: Oh, that wig on Shirley MacLaine
9:10:59 CrackMC: What's with all the see-through, meshy stuff this year?

Hilary Swank

9:18:33 CrackMC: she is Matt Damon
9:18:33 UncleJesse: oh, I loved “Boys Don't Cry”
9:18:42 UncleJesse: mmmm she IS slightly Matt Damon. Nice call.

Seth Rogen

9:19:02 Smurfette: Look at the slim Seth
9:19:14 UncleJesse: I knew I was attracted to him...
9:19:21 AaronOOF: Holy crap... has Seth lost like all the weight I need to lose?
9:19:24 Crystal: To play a superhero—weight loss city for Seth
9:19:24 UncleJesse: He. Looks. Hot.
9:19:26 Man with Powers: Wow, cocaine jokes? We are in a recession, people...
9:19:43 Bella2: Slightly inappropriate

Simon Beaufoy wins Best Screenplay for Slumdog Millionaire

9:21:22 Crystal: What's happening south of his jacket cuffs
9:21:36 CrackMC: Shirt is too long?
9:21:38 UncleJesse: Cuffy McLongsleeves
9:21:44 CrackMC: Or is he wearing a dickey and fake cuffs?

Alec Baldwin wins Best Actor: TV Comedy

9:22:17 UncleJesse: It is easier to count non-beards than beards
9:22:44 Smurfette: Alec!
9:22:58 SnowPants: “Never follow a hippie to a 2nd location!”
9:22:59 UncleJesse: Please note the lack of facial hair...
9:23:06 CrackMC: “It’s after six. What am I, a farmer?”
9:23:23 UncleJesse: Somewhere Billy Baldwin just started crying... again
9:23:46 CrackMC: I went to college with Tina Fey. Yahoo Wahoos!

30 Rock wins Best Show: Comedy

9:36:26 Man with Powers: I love Tracy in his white jacket
9:36:37 AaronOOF: I LOVE YOU TINA
9:36:50 UncleJesse: Tina Fey, rockin' the J. Lo neckline
9:37:19 AaronOOF: Is he still wearing his alcoholic ankle bracelet?
9:38:01 AaronOOF: Jeff Zucker is lucky he's got Tina Fey and that show
9:38:23 Smurfette: party is still going strong
9:39:16 MrsGrieves: Who knew America had a sexy librarian complex?
9:39:26 AaronOOF: Tina was hot from moment one on SNL, which was moment one that I saw her, at least
9:40:28 DoubleknitDynomite: She was hot before she was on SNL—she had a two person show with Rachel Dratch and she looked good then too
9:40:41 UncleJesse: Poor Rachel Dratch
9:46:49 UncleJesse: And Jane Krakowski gets the shaft in my opinion
9:49:21 MrsGrieves: Kenneth is so hot

Tina Fey wins Best Actress: Comedy

9:49:17 CrackMC: Tina Fey is hilarious
9:49:18 AaronOOF: Crap ... the HFPA is now totally going to make action figures of themselves
9:49:27 UncleJesse: And trading cards
9:49:50 UncleJesse: What a delight
9:49:53 CrackMC: She rocks
9:50:02 AaronOOF: Rocketh she does
9:50:14 MrsGrieves: Triumph of the normal funny girl

America Ferrara

9:50:16 Smurfette: America didn't look at all happy over there
9:50:34 UncleJesse: I think America secretly thought they'd have made her un-ugly on the show at this point
9:50:47 UncleJesse: Like they sold it her as, "And then in season 4 we'll make you gorgeous!!"
9:50:51 UncleJesse: But it never happened...

Slumdog Millionaire

9:52:29 CrackMC: The kid from Slumdog = Indian Michael Phelps. Am I wrong?
9:52:47 MrsGrieves: Ha, no way, he doesn’t have the ab muscles
9:53:01 CrackMC: Sorry, it's the toothy grin
9:53:22 UncleJesse: I'm with you on Slumboy = Phelps

Steven Spielberg wins the Cecil B. DeMille Award

9:58:12 AaronOOF: Without Spielberg, there'd be no Oprah. How could there even be a more important contribution to the world?
9:59:26 AaronOOF: In fact, you could say Spielberg helped solve the recession because Oprah is currently giving away Suze Orman's book on how to save your financial well being as a free download on her website, and of course, if everyone followed that, we'd all get out of this mess on our own
9:59:34 MrsGrieves: Spielberg hits a sentimental part of my soul and I hate him for that
9:59:39 UncleJesse: AND Spielberg supported Obama who is going to save us all
9:59:54 UncleJesse: So I'd say this award is deserved
10:01:02 UncleJesse: I mean, does this man sleep?
10:01:29 UncleJesse: I just teared up a little
10:01:56 CrackMC: And Marty Scorsese is tearing up
10:02:19 UncleJesse: Steven has officially aged better than Ron Howard...
10:07:17 PM CrackMC: Rumer, tell him he's been PUNK'D! The award is really going to Tom Hanks

Sigourney Weaver

10:17:09 CrackMC: Sigourney looks kind of fantastic.
10:17:15 MrsGrieves: Sigourney Weaver = babe
10:17:21 Smurfette: Def babe
10:17:30 UncleJesse: I don't support navy blue, though
10:17:32 UncleJesse: As a color
10:17:34 UncleJesse: Ever really
10:17:38 CrackMC: She might be wearing a Capezio leotard
10:17:41 Smurfette: She played God in Eli Stone
10:17:45 UncleJesse: SPOT on

Colin Farrell

9:07:06 CrackMC: Do you think Colin is still sober? I know he was trying
9:07:06 Crystal: And gum chewing
9:07:13 DoubleknitDynomite: Colin Farrell looks like Joe Isuzu
9:07:36 Crystal: He does look like Isuzu!
9:07:50 AaronOOF: Drug humor. YAY!
9:08:03 CrackMC: See? He USED to be an addict, but he is sober now!

Colin Farrell wins Best Actor: Comedy or Musical

10:20:15 SnowPants: He's my movie boyfriend
10:20:44 CrackMC: I really do love (sober) Colin!
10:21:00 MrsGrieves: Martin McDonagh = SILVER FOX
10:21:13 UncleJesse: This win is highway robbery though
10:21:38 CrackMC: Wax lyrical, Colin!
10:21:44 CrackMC: “Love is the nemesis of ignorance”

Kate Winslet wins AGAIN for Best Actress

10:39:05 MrsGrieves: YAY KATE!
10:39:11 AaronOOF: I'm actually shocked
10:39:11 UncleJesse: KATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
10:39:13 Bella2: I am soooo excited
10:39:15 AaronOOF: The HFPA never does that
10:39:20 Smurfette: Two! Craziness
10:39:27 CrackMC: Kate wins both!
10:39:29 Smurfette: Here we come, Oscars!
10:39:44 AaronOOF: That's by far the biggest shock of the evening
10:39:47 Bella2: I love that she won. I saw Revolutionary Road today
10:39:55 CrackMC: Meryl was up for two and won neither
10:39:59 MrsGrieves: Kate, I love you but don't cry
10:40:31 UncleJesse: Pull yourself together
10:40:45 UncleJesse: This was long overdue
10:40:57 AaronOOF: She's now by far the Oscar frontrunner

Revolutionary Road

10:41:18 UncleJesse: I almost lost two friends over this movie
10:41:21 UncleJesse: They hated it—I loved it
10:41:27 UncleJesse: There were damn near punches thrown
10:41:32 UncleJesse: Now that Kate has won, I feel redeemed

Blake Lively and Rainn Wilson come out to present an award

10:43:16 CrackMC: BLAKE LIVELY comes out after Kate?
10:43:19 UncleJesse: WHAT IS SHE DOING THERE?!
10:43:24 AaronOOF: Wow... Serena and Dwight! There's a combo
10:43:56 AaronOOF: Dwight should become a lost Bass brother

Mad Men wins Best TV Show: Drama

10:44:44 UncleJesse: Now maybe Matt Weiner will come back for another season
10:44:47 AaronOOF: Some things are too powerful
10:44:51 UncleJesse: He's pulling a Friends thing
10:45:20 AaronOOF: I love Christina Hendricks
10:45:40 UncleJesse: "My people are Nordic": That line made this season worth it for me
10:45:58 AaronOOF: She played a completely different character on the Taye Diggs show "Kevin Hill" that would never make you think she could play this role in MAD MEN, and she does this role marvelously
10:46:12 UncleJesse: Yep—that's 9 people at the mic rocking a beard or goatee
10:46:18 CrackMC: January Jones=a dream

What should this show have been called?

10:49:05 CrackMC: White Dresses, Facial Hair, and Brits
10:49:13 CrackMC: And Tina Fey
10:49:24 AaronOOF: JLo backfat overshadowed by bales of Facial hair
10:49:37 UncleJesse: That's the sub-header
10:57:22 UncleJesse: Lessons of the night: Hire former drug addicts, British women, and Bruce Springsteen whenever possible

Mickey Rourke wins Best Actor

10:50:51 UncleJesse: Is that a sequined scarf?
10:50:56 UncleJesse: It is...it is a sequined scarf
10:50:56 Bella2: That is an amazing category
10:51:02 AaronOOF: That was a very strong category
10:51:04 MrsGrieves: Poor Frank Langella
10:51:17 AaronOOF: Frank won a Tony for the role, he doesn’t need a GG
10:51:27 Smurfette: Love the trip up the stairs, Mickey
10:51:45 UncleJesse: Brad Pitt getting better looking over 3 hours does not a Golden Globe win make
10:52:18 CrackMC: Mickey is going to win an Oscar, maybe
10:52:19 UncleJesse: I don't really need to say it, but....FACIAL HAIR
10:52:25 AaronOOF: OK, people ... Mickey Rourke's comeback was SIN CITY, not THE WRESTLER. It's just that THE WRESTLER was a better movie
10:53:25 SnowPants: Mickey looks GREAT, by the way
10:53:29 Smurfette: Love the flipping of the bird, Aronofsky!
10:53:56 UncleJesse: I believe Mickey is currently wearing every type fabric we have available to us

Tom Cruise

10:59:05 AaronOOF: Oh, last prize: Best Picture—Drama
10:59:20 CrackMC: Tom Cruise is the biggest movie star there is, I guess
10:59:29 AaronOOF: Oh Tom, how the hell are you doing this when you know you think "Valkyrie" should be up there

Slumdog Millionaire wins Best Picture

10:59:33 AaronOOF: Slumdog
10:59:34 Smurfette: Sweet!!!!!
10:59:38 SnowPants: SLUMDOG!!!!!!
10:59:40 CrackMC: Slumdog
10:59:43 UncleJesse: Knew it
10:59:46 UncleJesse: So Hollywood
11:01:06 UncleJesse: There's Cuffy McLongsleeves again
11:01:09 UncleJesse: Who IS that dude talking?
11:01:15 Bella2: The producer
11:01:39 MrsGrieves: They were so expecting Oscary-ness
11:01:49 MrsGrieves: Did Christian Colson just swear?

Random Footnotes

7:10:54 CrackMC: Elizabeth Banks was my sister's little sister's little sister in her sorority in college
7:14:39 UncleJesse: Debra Messing looks BANANAS
7:22:58 DoubleknitDynomite: It's so annoying to see how the Jonas Brothers’ stylist is keeping their personas distinct through their outfits
7:23:11 Crystal: of course—Billy Ray doesn't let Miley out of his sight... trying to get some fame rub-off
7:54:02 UncleJesse: Pierce Brosnan's wife seems to have ordered her dress from the Victoria's Secret catalog
8:00:38 UncleJesse: I swear Angelina has worn that dress before...
8:28:51 Smurfette: Oh, Zac Efron... screaming girls around the world
8:28:52 Bella2: Hayden Panettiere looks pregnant in that dress
10:38:24 CrackMC: Mark Wahlberg looks taller than he should

The End

11:01:46 UncleJesse: Did Rumer leave?
11:01:46 SnowPants: Can we do this again?
11:02:16 UncleJesse: To the afterparties!!!
11:02:20 UncleJesse: Is there a British after party? There should be!
11:03:01 MrsGrieves: My roommate just asked — who's in the Hollywood Foreign Press Association?
11:03:25 UncleJesse: I'm off to call my friends who hated Revolutionary Road
11:03:26 CrackMC: Good night. I am going to watch 24 now.
11:03:28 AaronOOF: One last word. Khloe Kardashian is NOT a celebrity, I'm just saying.